In 1998, I was a freshman in college and the excited recipient of an old desktop PC. The dorm room at my tiny mountain college had no desks, only a countertop along one side of the room for studying. The monitor took up the entire depth of the counter and there was no room for a chair, so I ended up sitting on my bed with the keyboard in my lap and the mouse on the bed by my side.
Ten years of computer geekdom combined with bad posture, cheap keyboards and mice, and every risk factor in the book (Type A personality, prone to stress) mean that I quite predictably have a repetitive strain injury, or RSI.
I'm following the treatment outlined in this book, which is made of win, but RSI can't be treated by drugs or surgery. I have to relearn how to use my entire upper body, including how to type, so I can use the computer in a way that doesn't hurt.
Since I still technically can type, it's hard to explain to my employer that I need accommodations. Since I still technically can carry groceries into the house, I feel like a lazy fattie for letting the husband do it so I can avoid the pain that comes with it. I could have heaved bags of mulch into a cart and then into my car the other day at Lowe's, but it wasn't worth the pain. I found myself explaining briefly to the workers there who did the lifting so they wouldn't think I was a lazy fattie. I can't even imagine what it must be like to live with a true invisible disability.
It's really important right now for me to just stay off the computer as much as possible. Telling a geek to stay off the computer is like telling a fattie to stop eating baby doughnuts, so it isn't working too well, but I'm trying, hence the lack of posts lately.
I need to find a local RSI specialist and/or massage therapist with RSI training, but I'm worried; I've never had a massage, and I'm afraid of getting someone who'll freak out at teh fats. How silly is that? And yet the pervasive nature of fat hate means it's a factor even in a condition totally unrelated to fat.
(Note: Any comments shaming me for being afraid to visit a doctor/therapist will be deleted.)
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5 comments:
After I had major abdominal surgery to remove a 7 1/2 pound infant from the depths of my innards, I had major problems with letting other people help me. Even though I had difficulty standing up, twisting from side to side, or getting into or out of a car. Eventually I had to admit that no, I wasn't able bodied, and ask everyone around me for help with the most basic stuff. Everyone around was VERY accommodating. You're not alone in feeling weird asking for help.
Good luck finding a therapist. My mom, who is very fat, got therapeutic massage as long as she had insurance coverage for it and it did her a world of good. She had no problems with the people who worked on her; I hope you can find folks similarly professional.
Brigid is right...you're not alone in feeling wierd asking for help. I had, what I assume, is the same type injury that you are now suffering (mine was chronic flexor carpi radialis tendinitis in both wrists/hands). I spent more than two years visiting the orthopaedist (who was an ass and didn't help at all so I understand why you don't want to go to a doctor). I spent almost a solid year in physical therapy 3x a week and while it helped a bit, I didn't regain functionality or have a loss of pain. I was laid off from my job (because of the injury, I'm positive about that, as I my performance ratings were always high even when I was in excruciating pain). Finally, out of sheer desperation, I sought out acupuncture. My treatment involved several different therapies...Chinese herbal therapy (the corydalis tincture was the only thing that ever helped with the pain--it was like a miracle plant), acupuncture (including electrical stimulation through the needles), massage therapy, and moxibustion (which, while it sounds hokey, actually helped me a lot).
I'm happy to say that I function well now. I will never have full functionality in my hands again, but I only occasionally have flare ups and they don't last more than a day or two (usually weather related or if I've slept on my hands accidentally). I still can't carry heavy objects and since my grip was permanently damaged, I have to put my pinky finger under my drinking glass when I carry it.
But, I can use my hands again. I still have problems with some repetitive tasks (like using a screwdriver or crochet hook--I use a drill attachment to replace the screwdriver and I gave up crocheting), but I can type again and do normal things without any pain. I am still unable to lift heavy objects, but I can handle a full grocery bag again.
I wish you the best of luck. It was a more than two year ordeal for me. I want to thank my acupuncturist/Dr. of Chinese medicine every day for essentially giving me my life back.
I hope you find what works to help you heal.
I was able to get a perscription for Occupational Therapy from my doctor a few years ago to treat an ulner radial nerve injury (RSI). I am fortunate to live in a city where every other person is a massage therapist, and the Occupational Therapist I saw always started with a FABULOUS massage before we did stretches and exercises. She also taught me to type again using a bio feedback program. It did a world of good. Long story short, find an Occupational Therapist if you can.
I'm fat, I have a recurrent, decade-old RSI, and I LOVE massage for RSI treatment. (also whatever helps will be good, but physical therapy & massage have helped me the most). Also, i was using computer equipement from the early '80s at my job until 2001.
I think the best part of having gone to a good massage therapist is that I was able to observe and learn some stuff I can do on myself (since my RSI is in my wrists & forearms) and sometimes on others.
No shame in being scared, but go for it if you can.
I know what you mean about being reluctant to try out massage because of possible reactions to your body. I have chronic pain and had a gift certificate for a massage--exactly what i wanted. But I kept it for almost a year before using it just because I was afraid I would pay for someone's time and therapeutic touch, only to have them look at me wrong. Happily, my fears were unfounded and the massage was great. I psyched myself up by reminding myself that anyone in this career has to deal with people with hair in odd places, odors, acne, other skin conditions, etc, as well as adipose tissue, and would not last long if they were unprofessional or unmotivated to help.
My OT person was beyond useless, and my PT helped with strengthening but not pain; however I hear that others have better luck and I'm looking into different PT now. A massage person with rsi training sounds like a great combo of skills.
Best of luck to you; and please also remember that you do not have to live in pain while you search for a therapy that works-- a good doctor can work with you to find pain relief (topical pain patches, topical relaxants, relaxant pills, painkilling pills, accupuncture, etc) or refer you to a pain clinic.
Hope you find a way to get to a better place pain-wise, whatever that way may be.
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